You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize