I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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