Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
