Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
