I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
