The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I faked an abortion last night.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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