Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
