Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
my poor anus
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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