last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
