Your tits are I can't wait for
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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