As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
