im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
