DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
