So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
