you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I got inside last night via doggy door
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
