You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
