Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
