Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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