My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
