I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize