Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
