It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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