I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
