its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
