yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We just shotgunned beers for America
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
