singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
