Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
