It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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