I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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