Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
