so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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