I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
