went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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