just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize