The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
