Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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