Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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