why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
