Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
