He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
