I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
you made out with another girl for some wings
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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