the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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