check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
