I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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