I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
