it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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