Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
