I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
