seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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