I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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