Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize