Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
