Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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