mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
