I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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