we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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