is your mom at the bar?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
