Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Randomize
