Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize