can we get nightvision for the apartment?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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