i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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