Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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