YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
