That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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