So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
