Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
