I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize