my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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