Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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