He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
