i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
