Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize