Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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