The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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