Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
no you cant smoke seaweed
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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