Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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