Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
